Of servers and ironies…

गणानां त्वा गणपतिं हवामहे
कविं कवीनामुपमश्रवस्तमम् ।
ज्येष्ठराजं ब्रह्मणां ब्रह्मणस्पत
आ नः शृण्वन्नूतिभिः सीद सादनम् ॥

Gannaanaam Tvaa Ganna-Patim Havaamahe
Kavim Kaviinaam-Upama-Shravastamam |
Jyessttha-Raajam Brahmannaam Brahmannaspata
Aa Nah Shrnnvan-Uutibhih Siida Saadanam ||

Among the Ganas (Group of Prayers), to you who is the Ganapati (Deva of Prayers), we offer this havan (ritual fire),

You are the wisdom of the wise and the most glorious of all,

You are the foremost in prayer, presiding as the Deva of the Prayers (Brahmanaspati),

Please come to us by listening to our humble invocation and be present in the seat of this havan of life…

ॐ गं गणपतये नमो नम: !

I usually write my blog live – which means I log in, create a new post and start to write. I do not edit, I do not think much – I just write. Today, as I sat down to log in, I realised that my site is down for some reason. And so I contacted technical support and they are still working on the server issue. 

The irony of it – an obstacle on the day of the remover of all obstacles!

Maybe this was Ganesha’s way of saying that yes, maybe to can maintain a blog religiously, but you still have to realise that there are a lot of things that happen in the background that you are now aware of – I am the one who get’s them solved so that you can focus on your writing. 

Not that God needs to prove a point – if he did, then it wouldn’t be much of an all-powerful being now would he?

Two things here. First the “he” (why not she, some may say) – only because it is convention. It would be silly to think that a force than created, maintains and can possibly destroy this endless Universe has a gender and that should even be a topic of discussion. 

Second – proving a point is for silly and petty beings like us. An omnipresent life force does not have the pettiness of needling you just because. 

And so what I meant is self-realisation. A lot of times we take a lot of things and people for granted. I do too. We don’t think twice about many of the things we do – they just work. It’s only when they don’t that we even realise that there are multiple threads at work here, and their job is to keep it so seamless that you don’t even notice. 

Admins at work, moms at home – classic examples

So the next time you wake up and scream for breakfast, take a bit of time to appreciate the work that went on behind the scenes. We pray to the remover of obstacles before undertaking any task, but fail to see the “Ganesha” in the people who actually work hard to make our lives less stressful and more seamless – after all ,they remove obstacles too right, like Ganapati?

Ganpati Bappa Moriya!

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Kaala…my thoughts

A Rajni movie has always been exceptional. The story, the style…if not that, then the hype  surrounding it…if not that either, then the expectations…and if nothing else, then just the fan frenzy. Of late, stars like Ajith and Vijay have been coming in on their own, with the frenzy rivalling that of the ‘Thalaivar’. However, on the opening day of a Rajini movie, the atmosphere is something else. Will the director deliver? Will the movie speak of Rajini’s political ambitions? Will the collections cross that of Vijay’s latest?

Rajini’s partnership with PA Ranjith marks a distinct step in both their careers. Suddenly, we find a more mature, a subtler superstar, who seems as if he is cast into the director’s mould, rather than the other way around, as is usually the case. PA Ranjith isn’t in awe of Rajini, rather, he brings out certain facets of Rajini the actor, that had got lost along the way. After Kabali, Kaala is a bigger step in this direction.

Is the movie political? Hell yes. But is it Rajini’s politics…err..maybe yes, maybe not. Kaala revels in the dark side, and is well contrasted against the ‘white and pure’ Nana Patekar.

The character asks many uncomfortable questions, both literally and figuratively. Is black necessarily bad? Is white always ‘sacred’? Are people living in slums criminals, uncouth and fair game?

Kaala opens with a sense of urgency – so much that the traditional ‘Super Star Rajini’ bit doesn’t even have its own music – it blends into the narrative. Kaala’s introduction is also Kabaliisque – very low key. However, give him a challenge and vintage Rajini comes back – the slow motion, the style, the whistle-worthy moments. However, these too flow into the story, and don’t stand out like a deification exercise. The Rajini of PA Ranjith variety has a supporting cast that does much more than just fill in the spaces. Each actor plays a part, has a character, and flows along with the protagonist, rather than prop him up. A special mention on how the director treats relationships – both Kabali and Kaala have beautiful characterisation when it comes to their better half.

So how was the movie overall?

Well, let me put it this way. Kaala has the Rajini that you were screaming for post Linga. It has the Rajini who still has his whistle-worthy bits, but who settles into a story that isn’t about him all the time. It showcases his acting – his pauses, his expressions that went missing while he went cigarette-tossing and sunglasses-whirling. But most of all, it has a climax that is arguably one of the best ones I’ve seen on screen – and surely the best in a Rajini movie. Saying more would give the plot away, but rest assured, the director leaves the audience with a smile on their faces, and a warmth in their hearts. And it doesn’t depend on Rajini beating up the baddies, no, not at all.

It beautifully brings out a rainbow of colours, both on screen and in your heart…which then blend into each other leaving you with just one dominant colour (that isn’t bad unlike its usual connotation)…KAALA.

Of fresh starts…

Another year goes by…

So what does one do on New Year? The same old party-greetings-celebration routine? Or the ignore-everything its just another day routine?

Personally, its a bit of both. Milestones on a highway are meant to be places where one pauses, looks back to see how far one has come, and looks ahead to see how far one has to go. I treat the new year as one such milestone (the other being my birthday). So how did I start 2015? How did it end? Am I in a better place, in a better frame of mind…with better people?

A lot happened this year. Some good, some bad. But life is after all a mixed bag. These affect me lesser and lesser as the years go by; rather, I count these as experiences and try to learn from them. The people who went away, well – we had good times (maybe) but it ran its course…the people who came close – its exciting to see where and how far on this journey we can continue…

2016 is an important year for me, personally and professionally. A lot of important decisions, a lot of challenges, new and old. No resolutions, since I believe that if you want to do something, don’t look for a milestone to start. But yes, exciting to look ahead not because life will be a cakewalk, but because it will present a whole lot of opportunities and learnings. And pain. And smiles.

Here is looking forward to a bit of everything. A slice of life..

Wish you all a very happy 2016:) Some more than others 🙂

Tamasha – Bollywood movie – my thoughts…

Love. Strikes in the most unexpected of places. I met her at a place that I didn’t frequent…nor did she. But struck a chord. We didn’t know each other, and well, thats what made it even more exciting. Spent some time…had a laugh..a lot of laughs actually. I liked spending time with her, it held promise…of a togetherness that was not ordinary…was special. Her hug was special, and so was the way I looked at her…

And then the kiss. Again, unexpected…more of a peck rather. But a kiss nevertheless. A flutter in my heart…can this be true? Drawn inexplicably into this vortex, finding myself being me, and she felt the same. Why conform when you can break out, share stories that don’t have to make any sense, lose sense of time just by running fingers through her hair…

A seperation. Not much in touch…discovering life without each other. Was it the same? Maybe. Maybe not. What mattered is the discovery. Time spent without her was time spent not being me. Not enjoyable at all. What mattered then is the coming back. But then things were not the same…were they?

Awkwardness. She searches something that I don’t have in me. Or maybe I haven’t seen it in myself yet. That too is a kind of discovery isn’t it? Gets boring since we busy being someone else. Trying to conform once again, this time together….

I fell in love…ALMOST.

But you know what? This is my story. I don’t like the ending. The good thing is that I can change it. Its up to me after all, coz I am the storyteller. And I am the story. Tha ret (sand), dikha paani (water)…so what? Grab a bottle, pour the water on the sand. Its as simple as that.

The best thing about a non-linear story is that you can shift the paragraphs and change the story, and yet make sense. This is non-linear,so feel free to do so. After all my love, this is your story too:)

Tamasha. Playing in a cinema near you. Or in the life that you are living. All depends on how you see it!

Of ghats, gangajal and invocations

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Kolkata. The name evokes memories of history, heritage, art, food…and Durga Puja. As the flight descends on this city, a breathtaking view emerges. Kolkata, dressed in all its finery, all set to welcome Maa Durga. The festive atmosphere is unparalleled, the enthusiasm undiminished. The taxi meanders through tight lanes, with people spilling over each other, yet walking on, witnessing the spectacle that is Durga Puja. For Durga is in every corner, every lane, every rajbari…

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One often wonders when this festival actually started. Was it this way even a hundred years back? Origins differ, but consensus is that the age old zamindars of Bengal started this public celebration, and it grew over the years to become what is now called the largest outdoor art festival on earth. Every year, pandals compete with each other in coming up with innovative, or creative pujos as they are known locally, and well, the result is just too mesmerising to limit itself to a description of a few mundane words. Tourists and locals alike, walk all over the city, hopping from pandal to pandal, absorbing the atmosphere, and having one big party.

But some get to witness a more personal experience. Barir pujo, or house pujas, are conducted in many traditional houses, big and small. It is a tough task, not only due to the expense but also due to the time and effort it takes to organize one over a period of 10 days. The most traditional houses make their own idols…and in some, the head of the house makes the idol himself. What an experience that is…making the Goddess come to life, the passionate devotion, where hours and days do not count, the hands only rest when the eyes are finally painted thus bringing the Goddess to life…

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As the Vedic chants take over, the chimes of the dhaak and the blowing of the shank rent the air, and the devotees welcome Maa into their home, worship her, take care of her. They are happy that she has graced their abode, and they do their best to make her happy. A lot of pujas take place during this 10-day period, each day  and each puja having a significance and a purpose. Guests, known and unknown, come home to see Maa Durga, pray to her, and ask for blessings. It is a period when nothing else matters, just worship and celebration.

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On the 10th day, the final set of pujas are conducted. Guests are fed, and preparations are made for the final farewell. Sindur Khela, where married women of the house smear vermillion on each others faces and celebrate by praying to Maa Durga and feeding her, marks the bidding farewell. The head of the house then leads the procession towards the Ganga ghat, where the Goddess will be immersed, with cries of Joy Maa Durga, and asking her to return the next year, again and again…

Back home, one feels a vacuum. Her presence is still there, yet one misses the fervour of the past few days…a bittersweet moment. One sits back and thinks about how a seemingly passive idol can invoke such passion and devotion…so much caring…so much love…

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A very successful Bollywood movie called PK, starred Aamir Khan and had quite a few non-complimentary things to say about worshipping stones. Those priests make you a fool, it claimed. God resides everywhere, not in lifeless idols. Well Mr. Aamir Khan, a stone is a stone. But it is the beauty of the human spirit, the emotional connect that binds us as human beings, the love that is so hard to describe but so easy to feel, that brings life into that stone. An idol is a personification of the love that we as humans have for God, it is this love that can make us see God in anything. It is this love that brings tears of joy into our eyes as we see the Goddess drift away…knowing that she will return. Not because she isn’t everywhere already, but because she would like to see us celebrate once again next year. God is happiness, God is celebration, and God is in you. Once in a while however, God has to remind us of this.

And that is why she makes us create, celebrate and then let go. Do you want to experience the God in you? Visit a barir pujo in Kolkata. You may just fall in love…AGAIN.

all photos courtesy Ghosh Barir Pujo, Sovabazar, Kolkata

Kis Kisko Pyaar Karu – Bollywood movie – My thoughts…

An impulse decision yesterday…and paid off handsomely.

Kapil Sharma, made famous by Comedy Nights with Kapil, has attempted the much-tried-but-seldom-achieved transition to the big screen. Kis Kisko Pyaar Karu is his calling card to the next level. So does it pay off?

Comedies are tough to pull off. Comedies with multiple marriages/women even more. There is always a risk of sliding into double entendres and vulgarity (Grand Masti comes to mind). Kapil’s show has never really pushed the border here, and hence family audiences love his show. It is heartening to see that this philosophy of his has extended to the film, coz even with three wives and one girlfriend for good measure, KKPK never descends into cheap thrills. Doesn’t even come close to it. So is it funny?

The good thing here is that Kapil has consciously stayed away from making this movie a one-man one liner show. Incidentally, the best comedy in KKPK is from the supporting cast, that boosts of talents like Supriya Pathak, Varun Sharma (the Fukrey guy), Arbaaz Khan (err…yes kindof), and Sharad Saxena. Jamie Lever ( yes, THE Lever’s equally talented daughter) makes a smashing debut with lines that bring down Newton’s apples (see the movie to know more) and the house. So surprise surprise..Kapil lets others do most of the comedy and himself displays a good range of skills – from dialogue delivery to emotional scenes. Quite a revelation here!

Its not like KKPK is thought provoking cinema…not a bit. Its that ‘leave your brains behind’ kind of comic caper. Logic doesn’t make the mistake of making an appearance anywhere in the course of the movie. But then, my benchmark was Welcome Back. If that horrendous pretense of a movie could find an audience, then KKPK is Oscar-worthy in comparison. So go ahead, watch this in the theatre, coz a group laugh is better than laughing alone, isn’t it?

Mrs. Funnybones…My thoughts…

Mrs Funnybones by Twinkle Khanna
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

About a quarter of a century ago, a daughter of a very (very very) famous father walked onto the silver screen and lit it up like no one else had…every movie she did was a masterpiece in itself, with roles being written for her and awards raining on her doorstep..

Na, not really. Twinkle the actress was a flop.

Can’t say the same about her alternative career choices though. Her candles (I assume) sell well, and of late, we have discovered a new side of hers, new to us, but am sure people close to her had dollops of the good thing before we did. Humour, or more precisely, wit.

Twinkle started writing a column in the Times of India, and before I knew it, I would start eagerly awaiting her weekly dose of quirkiness, fact dipped in the breadcrumbs of fiction and fried to perfection…a way of looking at life that very few people have the gift for.

So when I heard that she was writing a book, couldn’t wait for it to release. And here I am, the book read in one take (inspired from Akshay’s famous monologue), the last page turned, the last anecdote ingested.

Ok, first things first. This isn’t a ‘book’ book, I would call it an extension of her columns, rather, a compilation of 26 columns, some read, some not. The only binding thread is the alphabet, and so we have 26 chapters, each with one letter of the alphabet starting the title. Innovative. But thats hardly the tip of the iceberg. Dive in, and you get Twinkle uninterrupted, going through her daily chores and looking at the world both straight and upside down. The humour quotient is boosted by the fact that many incidents (or most?) have actually happened, and so I suspect that either she has a very funny family, or a very positive way of looking at things. Here is a gem:

“All right, so now I am sitting in an aromatic cloud of shit and Chanel No 5.”

Don’t ask me the context, I’m still laughing!

But what surprised me was this:

“As my eyes are shutting, I think about the word ‘love’. It is multilayered, convoluted and as imperfect as all human emotions. It is not your heart beating fast when you look at him (I even knew a girl who would throw up each time she saw her beloved) or constantly wanting to be with the other person. Love in any relationship, family or an intimate friendship, is only about putting the other person’s needs ahead of your own, and that, my friend, is just as simple and as complex as you make it.”

Simple, yet profound…

And there is more. The humour dominates, but at times Twinkle lets us peek behind that wall, and there is a wonderful person hiding there. Right in the corner, observing, caring and compassionate.

I started the book laughing…and when I finally put it down, I had a smile on my face. The first was amusement, the latter contentment. With a dose of wisdom, that life comes and goes in a blink, its how you look at it that matters.

Twinkle, we forgive you for Bollywood. But we will not forgive you for taking long to release the sequel. And thank you, some things you managed to say, without even saying them once.

Mrs. Funnybones, MUCH RECOMMENDED!

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How do I celebrate my Krsna?

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Janamashtmi. Celebrated the world over as the birthday of Lord Krishna. The complete avatar of Vishnu. The Param-atma. Who showed us that God can be celebrated, as much as revered. That God is to be loved, not feared. Who showed us that God is within us, and outside us. Who could be naughty, as well as cunning, who could preach peace, as well as war…Krsna had a strange dichotomy that had never been seen before.

He taught us that love is pure, and one can be immersed in worldly pleasures and yet be aloof, this too…that too…

Spoke to some of my friends in the morning. A few were fasting, others didn’t have any specific plans, except a possible visit to the temple. Another asked me how I would celebrate – the traditional way?

Well, I don’t know much about fasts and pujas. I fall in the “that too” category I guess. So I did what I felt like…cleaned the puja room ([puja stand actually), lit the agarbatti, prayed…then played some celebratory Krsna bhajans…even some Bollywood songs based on Krishna…

And wished him..

Maybe wasn’t the ideal or traditional way of worship, or celebration, but then, its the feeling in the heart that matters, doesn’t it?? And Krsna being Krsna, would have found a way to enjoy the little prayer I made:)

Narada, Vishnu’s devotee and wandering sage, was curious to find out how Krishna was managing to live with his 16,000 wives and came to Dwarka to check. Krishna welcomed Narada with all the honours due to a sage. Narada then visited every one of the houses of Krishna’s 16,000 wives and was surprised to see Krishna present in every house with his wife in an atmosphere of total domesticity, laughing and joking with his wife and taking care of his children, and helping his wife in house hold chores. Watching this phenomenon, Narada was convinced that it was divinity in the form of Krishna, a complete and manifold manifestation who had enjoyed the company of his 16,000 consorts at the same time.

We all have our own Krsna. Celebrate the way you would like to, he will accept it…Happy Janamashtmi…JAI SHRI KRISHNA!!

To kill…or not to kill..

Should we as a society, support the death penalty? More importantly, is it right?

This seemingly innocent question can at first instance, be answered in a direct yes, or a no. People can have quite polarized views when it comes to the death penalty. Some crimes, like the Nirbhaya gang rape case that shook India a few years ago, evoke strong and passionate responses across the board – yes, the accused all deserve to die. Other cases can be a mixed bag – the hanging of Yakub Memon for instance. The past few days have seen a lot of opinions from a lot of people, again, with some baying for this blood while others begging for mercy on his behalf.

Which brings me back to the question at hand…should we as a society support the death penalty?

While the arguments on its merits and demerits can be long, lets dig a bit deeper. Mankind (pardon the pun), isn’t very kind when it comes to it. Society functions, and sanely, largely because of a semblance of order. We appoint our own lawmakers, to keep the criminal in us in check and ensure that each one of us is treated fairly and with respect. With crime, comes punishment, in varied degrees of incarceration. And in some societies, such as ours, the ‘rarest of the rare’ crimes deem the criminal unfit to be a part of us, a mind so sickened that it doesn’t deserve to exist anymore. Our nominated judiciary sends the criminal to his/her death, thereby delivering ‘justice’. This has been the norm from ancient times, and it still exists, and will continue to exist for a long time to come.

But is justice really delivered? What do we derive out of the death of a criminal? Vindication? Closure? Deterrence? Revenge? 

On the surface, we as a society have come far from our days in the caves. We are more polished, respectful, cultured as peoples. But there are instances such as these, that bring out our inner thoughts to the surface, simmering at first, and then, up to a boil. All of a sudden, we find ourselves baying for blood, craving for satisfaction, even though we may not have been directly affected. It is quite a dichotomy, this calmness that we portray and the eagerness to pull the trigger on the accused. We can be quite vocal in demanding that the convicted ‘hang until his last breath’, even as we forward quotes by the Mahatma, Mother Teresa and Buddha on Facebook. We cannot bear the thought of an animal being harmed, yet are more than happy to lead a human to the gallows. We pray to our Gods, and sometimes, would like to play God as well..

One might throw the question back at me. What if I was one of the affected? Would I still argue this way? 

But then, I am not arguing now am I? I’m just trying to understand. What do we really get from the death penalty? Collective retribution? Or just plain old revenge, served up well dressed and civilized. And the best part is, in most cases, it isn’t OUR revenge to begin with. We are just happy to be part of it, aren’t we? Would we, if given the opportunity, be the hangman in person?

Hmm..tough questions. And no right answers. Just introspection.

Which brings me back to what I asked myself – What if I was the wronged? What if it was someone of my family who had been harmed? There is no doubt in my mind what I would demand. I am one of us humans after all…

An eye for an eye would make the whole world blind

– Mahatma Gandhi

vedāvināśinaḿ nityaḿ
ya enam ajam avyayam
kathaḿ sa puruṣaḥ pārtha
kaḿ ghātayati hanti kam

(O Pārtha, how can a person who knows that the soul is indestructible, eternal, unborn and immutable kill anyone or cause anyone to kill?)

-Bhagawad Gita Chapter 2 Shlok 21

Red pill…anyone?

The past few days have been challenging. Possibly right up there with the toughest times in my life. I have been fighting…and fighting hard. Sometimes it feels like a losing battle, but then I manage to get hold of myself. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy…but I didn’t know it was going to be this hard as well…

Ok. If you have reached this line, without calling me to check on me already, remind me to delete you from my list of 3 am friends. I know I sounded depressed, and in a way, this is close to clinical depression. I have, for the past few days, been undergoing what is known as a partial digital detox.

For the uninitiated, digital detox is, in simple terms, working on getting rid of our overwhelming addiction to our devices, especially the smartphone. Take a moment to look around you…while walking, while in the elevator, while eating, even while driving. Why around you, take a look at yourself. We are glued to our phones. Just read that we, on an average, unlock our phones 110 times a day, that is, 5-6 times an hour, or once every 10 minutes nearly. And thats just unlocking it. Doesn’t include the time we spend ‘updating’ ourselves with Twitter, Facebook, Whatsapp, email and yes, clicking the selfie (which in itself, has been now termed a medical condition). Wow. thats a lot of time, now that you think of it, isn’t it?

And I was way above-average. Until now.

A few days back, on a whim (and coz of rapidly diminishing data plans), I turned off my mobile data. Now, unless there was wifi, I had no connect to the internet from my phone. The first few minutes were terrible. By force of habit, my hands automatically unlocked the phone, stared at the screen, and then consciousness kicked in. This happened not once, not twice, but for 2 whole days.

And then suddenly, I felt the odd man out. Would enter the elevator and wonder what to do for the next 31 floors, with everyone else glued to their devices, sometimes just scrolling up and down. Eating was a pain, coz I had to see and taste the food, and not scroll through twitter while chomping away. Driving was boring, after all, who stays an hour without even touching one’s phone? How many updates I missed! I had to make conversation with friends I met for a drink, that too for hours at a go. Even walking to and fro from my car was a stretch, I actually had to look around and find new people at the reception I didn’t know existed.

And then suddenly, I felt the odd man out. Would enter the elevator and feel free for the next 31 floors, looking around at everyone, observing, watching them fiddle with their phones coz they just didn’t want to look up and smile. Eating was a revelation, I realized that taste doesn’t merely lie on the tongue, but as they say, I could ‘feast my eyes’ on what I ate. Each morsel tasted different (no it wasn’t the salt), I felt content. Driving was a pleasure, with my eyes focussed on the road, and I actually saw how beautiful the way to my house is. And well, as I once read (err..on my phone), two months down the line, it isn’t really going to matter if you were the first to know about that deal Greece signed; eventually, breaking news does become stale in a few hours.  I could now spend quality time with friends, hearing what they have to say, without pretending to do so. Even walking to and fro from my car was different, and yes, the receptionist is so pleasant to look at!

Am now a believer. Rediscovering myself and the world around me has just started, and I am working hard to keep it this way…

The Matrix had this central concept of the blue pill and the red pill. Well, I just took the red pill. And boy, has it been an exhilarating experience.